women's studies

i take a women's studies course at my school. an intro to women's studies. i needed a social science ge. i thought this would be easy. it isn't.

this class is just a lot of studying. there are only three tests and the teacher goes off on tangents when lecturing and i'm not sure what will be on the tests; either the lecture tangents or the assigned book work. i won't know until i see the first test. very nerve racking.

we were assigned the first paper in the class recently and to research for the paper i needed to collect images of women in sports. i assumed that this would be an easy task. unfortunately when i went to a store today (during elementary school hours to avoid interesting conversations with people i might know) to buy some sports magazines to research, i ran into quite a few road bumps (the things i attempted to avoid).

when i arrived to the magazine aisle, there was a woman and her baby reading up on why different celebrities are in rehab. i guess that she was thinking to herself, "gosh, i wish i could live a fabulous life like these stars, but i'm here in target with a baby..."

i picked up a sports illustrated to flip through it, but because of the recent super bowl, there wasn't a single article about any female sports. so i pick up a women's health, and just to my luck a big man in a business suit and on his cell phone walks down the aisle, picks up a car and driver and flips through it while on the phone.

as i flip through the women's fitness, i can feel the woman and her child that's not yet old enough to attend school looking at me with judging looks. i found that in the magazine there are two advertisements that i can use. as i reached out for a women's fitness magazine, the man finished his phone call and begins to assess his surroundings (since average people don't follow what's going on around them while on the phone, the conversation ends and the person then begins to realize where they are). the man eyeballs me picking up the women's fitness magazine and also notices that i have a women's health in the other hand. his judging glances are like treacherous gamma rays tearing me apart on a cellular level. i try to flip through the fitness magazine ignoring the judging from the small child and the stereotypical white/hetro/business man.

eventually i decide that these two magazines will fill my paper with enough analytical research to choke a developing nation and head to the check out area. i aimed for the express lane, because it's express and i assumed it would get me out of the store quicker, and with less scrutiny.

i patiently waited for my turn to check out holding the magazines folded so as not to show their contents. i felt like a dirty old man purchasing porn. with the people ahead of me done with their transactions i swiftly placed my items on the desk-y thing and the woman scans them without looking up. she was in the zone, she knew what it meant to be in the express lane; get people in and out, in an express manner. i thought i was home free, she looked at the computer to tell me my total then looked at me for payment, but something didn't click in her head. she looked down at the magazines again to confirm her thoughts then attempted to look back at me casually. i pretended not to notice as i was getting money out of my wallet. there was nothing i could have purchased in junction with these magazines to take the sting off, plus i didn't have enough money on hand to make such a purchase.

she didn't say anything, but i knew that she wanted to ask why i was purchasing these magazines. i was perfectly prepared to tell her that they were for the class, but she didn't ask. she simply handed me my change and wished me a good day. i wished her a good day as well and took my plastic bag of research out the door with me.

it wasn't until i was outside that i noticed that my armpits were damp. being shot at with judging glances does have a physical effect i guess. for me it was very similar to the time i held a drawing for my senior prom date. see embarrassing video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpGH0E7o588

oh well. it's what i do that makes me my unique self.